A Commotion

The past 48 hours have been sheer Coffee Geekdome.  Seriously.  So good.  So much caffeine.  Buzzed.   And loving it.


Colombia Source Trip from Stumptown Coffee Roasters on Vimeo.

Under the Blacklight

I remember in Elementary getting the turquoise Jefferson Eagles folder that iterated to parents that "for optimum performance, please ensure your student is in bed by 8:30 nightly."

Was I ever?  Possibly, but it was quite the rare occurrence.  After all, Are You Afraid of the Dark? didn't even come on until nine.

Tonight, I crawl under the covers humbly and gratefully. 

You Belong to Someone

Becoming exceedingly aware that no one thinks like I do.
No one operates the way I do.
That's where frustration comes in--in the failure of meeting expectations; of you, of me, for you, for me.
I'm ok with this, I think.  Just taking everything in. 

I mean, if we thought or worked the same, we would have nothing to fight about and that would be dull.  Boring even.  Compatible?  Meh.  I just wish we thought a smidgen more similar.  Just a tad.
Next week will bring fresh air.  Until then, I will let my lungs grow stale.
-KL

When You Comfort Me...

<sup>Psalm 139
Of David

1</sup> You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
       ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
          Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

TV Taught Me How To Feel

Why Marina and the Diamonds is awesome.  An explanation in three facts.

1.  She originally tried to break into the music scene by auditioning for a reggae boy band--dressed in full shock drag.

2.  She has a condition called Synesthesia which causes her to see musical notes, days of the week, letters and numbers as different colors.

3.  Makes dynamic music videos that are eye-catching without all the skin and sex that comes with most all pop-esque music videos now and still retains the depth of her lyrics.  Take note, Gaga.

Happy anniversary of birth, Miss Marina.  Too bad you share the day stateside with Mr. Columbus, aka, The Scourge of the New World.

Miniature rant now over.

-KL

I've Seen All of the Realness

"Watch out! Weeeeowwww"

Whew.

I just had an amazing weekend and I want to share it with YOU, oh world of the interwebz.  Well, mostly with whatever kinds of people read this blog and in order to recollect my thoughts.

Friday morning, I did not work.  A first in almost a year (minus that one week I was in Montana, but that's beside the point).  Instead of my usual Friday hecticness at the Cuda, Michelle and I ventured to Spokane.  Now, this wasn't just any old "girls weekend out"--we don't really do those...sadly.  This was in order to attend the Women of Faith Conference.  Going in to this weekend, I expected it to be mostly boring with a huge helping of Bible thumping and Christ cheese (<-is that blasphemous?).  Those expectations were only the beginning of me being completely and utterly and pleasantly wrong for the following 36 hours.

I would liken it to Ghormley even (as a student, not as a counselor), minus the games and overcrowded cabins and delicious food--unfortunately.  The line-up of women speakers and lone man were completely down to Earth, real people with some sort of weird side-gig in stand-up comedy.  Not that they did stand-up, but some of them definitely could have.  Their talks were not weighed down with scripture as some Christian sermons are, but instead stories about their lives and about their families, how they relate to and connect with other people, seeing the good in everything, trusting in God's mysterious wisdom and how to be a better friend and woman of love and compassion.  I was deeply touched with laughter and profound thought at each of their words.

Michelle and I were already planning to go next year by the time lunch rolled around on Friday.

I'm encouraging my mom and any other woman of any amount of faith I know to go as well.  Seriously, that weekend did me more good than a year's worth of Sunday preaching.  Not that Sunday preaching isn't important, it just doesn't always seem as applicable as a modern woman of God living in a world wrought with brokenness.

I'm going to post some videos now of what could be expected at this conference as opposed to the cold and disconnected, memorized Bible verse touting preaching that I ignorantly expected going in.

The ever amazing and my new role model of old age, Patsy Clairmont:

And for those American Idol watchers, finalist Mandisa was there as well.  I had no idea who she was, to which Michelle had a nice little chuckle, but I definitely know who she is now.

As always,
-KL

P.S.  There are still a few more conferences this year, check and see if there are any near you, yes you.  If you can't make it this year, consider going next year.  Srsly, I will go with you.  Then the magic will be even more spectacular. 
P.P.S.  With 7 or so speakers, I never heard a single "where we're at".  Grammar is especially important to Women of Faith.

Justbecauseiamawomanirefusetocleanupyourshitandbeyourmomcuzitsfootballseason

Fantasy football was invented by the Devil to make me hate my otherwise favorite time of year.
Thanks for that Satan.
-KL


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Time to Get Away

Weekend getaway extravaganza provided by the Ginger Peach and Dowy Mitoh was a complete success. We frolicked at the beach, played multiple cutthroat games of Sorry, ate cupcakes, conversed and consumed some of the best fast Mexican food money can buy.

Love these peeps.

-KL

Go Don't Stop

Fortune tonight.
Salem tomorrow.
Heck yes.

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I Got This

Dear Rebecca Black,

You single-handedly (ok, ok, the biebs softened them up a bit) defeated the Nazis back in '45. I am so glad we have this video as testament to your involvement in this moderately world-changing event.



Upon seeing this, I immediately dug out all of my history textbooks (which are quite numerous) and sharpied your glorious name into each and every one.
Don't let the kids in your class get you down, they're just jealous that you defeated the Nazis, something no one else could hope to do but Abraham Lincoln--and he was kind of already busy making the world think he was dead so that he can swoop in and make a magnificent re-entrance in the near future/at the apocalypse.
Anyways--keep up the good work of fighting the good fight and saving us from power-hungry dictators.

-KL

Her Namesake

Just spent a two-hour block at the ICU in Kadlec. Grandma O. is there with an assortment of tubes and wires, a head turban and an extreme-looking oxygen mask.
I have such a mixed bag of emotions in me right now that I don't even know how or what I'm feeling. Mostly exhausted and annoyed by my aunts. Oh Clarence, your stoic reserve didn't pass to any of your children. Skipped right on down to the next generation.
Prayers. Please?
Brain surgery yesterday went well, and she's too wired in and hopped up on pain meds to really respond to anything coherently. Her eyes are dazed and sad looking.


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Ce Jeu

Noticed today that my hair is long again.
Weird how that happens.
Snip snip.

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I Need to Know Where I Stand

Trying to find the line between "hardass" and "pushover". Thing is, I don't know if it's a fine line or drawn with an oversized magic marker. I think what I'm finding is it's altered with every person in every scenario. I don't like that very much.

Lord, Save Us From Your Followers

Finding my afternoons wide-open following graduation in May, I finally caved and registered for Netflix. Oh what a can of worms. A delightful and time-filling can of worms.

One of my favorite queues to insta-browse is the documentary line-up. I have always loved stories about people, about problems, about studies, about this world we live in and who inhabits it. After watching various shows on drugs, culture and history, Netflix prescribed a movie with an intriguing title to me. It was called, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers. Now, being the church-going sort, I immediately took offense to this title. And that was that.
No, after about a week of ignoring it, curiosity got the better of me and I sat down, ready to take in a brow-beating of the anti-bible thumping variety. It had been a long while since I had been so absolutely pleasantly surprised.

I don't want to give too much away because I truly believe it's something that everybody should watch, especially those of us who call ourselves followers of Christ. The premise comes from Dan Merchant of Portland (PNW represent!) who had one simple question: "Why is the Gospel of Love dividing America?" That's all he wanted to know. And thus he set out on an adventure around the States (in an outfit made of bumper-stickers nonetheless) interviewing the public and public figures alike--pedestrians, theologians, missionaries, politicians, radio show hots, protesters, Liberals, Republicans, Christians, Atheists. He did something very few people seem to do, he started civil discourse. He craved conversation with people to understand what they believe and why and to demonstrate what he believes and why. There is no scripture throwing, no condemning, no fire and brimstone. There are just words from a two-sided conversation, yearning to understand the brokenness we live in and how the body of Christ can actually reach out and do something about it.

Dan also has a book of the same title. In it, there is a quote from Michael Reagan that reminded me of a conversation from my summer as a Trainee when discussing whether even more stock should be placed into outreach programs.

I think Jesus cares about everybody individually. And we have to be a light to the world. And there are battles that you fight. I understand that, but we have to take care of our own house. Today I can't find a church that doesn't have an outreach program, and I can't find one that doesn't need an in-reach program. Everybody wants to become a megachurch--I'm bigger than you, I'm better than you. But I sit there in prayer circles in church and there are a lot of hurting people in churches today. We gotta heal the churches and through that we can heal the world.

It's the start to a conversation that needs to happen. We don't live in a perfect world, not even within the walls of the Church. I don't know how to fix it, I am only one person, but I'm more open, more aware. I'm not going to just wear blinders and hope and pray that things do get better. Now, the only questions is do I wait for lines to open, or do I open them myself?

This was a lot longer than I originally intended. Regardless, the trailer:


I really do encourage you to watch this movie and/or read the book. If nothing else, watch it and discuss it with your ex-catholic pot-head co-worker. Oh the places you'll go with that.

Don't Tell Me You Don't Know

The end of an era. I think my days in youth ministry at WS are behind me, at least with the current regiment in place. This past year has been phasing out everything--and everyone. No utilization of those who came before. No peer respect. No integration of relationships I've been building since they were in their single-digits.
I love those kids. I won't let this stop me.
I don't know if our decision was a mistake in terms of what's best for the youth, but it certainly didn't click in any way for me. I won't make this a tug-of-war, but I will not be disappearing completely either.
Church may be about politics, but Faith is about relationships.
Faith and love will always win this heart in the face of what sin may govern against it.

Let Your Love Grow Tall

This is why I fought so hard against getting an exchange student.
I knew all along that the end would come. Leaving was inevitable. That I would mourn.
And so here we are
And off you go
And here I stay
I should be getting good at this by now.

If It's What You Want

I can change, I can change.

I am learning every day.

I know I can.

I'll be a better man.

Take this One Fallen Man on His Knees

I am the new N.

Lord-
Humble me.

Steve Holt!

Got Alexander to start watching "Arrested Development" today.
This comes on the tail of him catching completely up on "Glee".
Glad we can bond over American tv. And have inside jokes apart from my padres. And make me miss my brudder a little bit less and a little bit more all around.
Maebe we should've watched these sooner.
-KL


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Nothing New to Tell You

Dear Mongo-Sloth,
I'm at 70 songs, time to start narrowing down. Realistically, you should come home more often so I can just burn you a different CD every time. Es verdad.

In other related news of goodness, our exchange student just admitted that "'Glee' is hilarious". Another faithful convert.
He's been watching the second season, backwards I might add, so I told him if he wanted to start from the beginning all he had to do was say "Sue Sylvester".

We're struggling right now to find another slave at the Cuda. Well, we have some prospective employees, but the triumvirate is divided. I think it's coming down to an emotions vs. logistics decision and it's just plain not fun. I would even go so far as to deem it "stressful". Something I don't need, especially as I breakaway into the final seven weeks of my undergraduate life.

Oh well, this is what I'm accustomed to, it'll be weird when I don't have school anymore. But then again, I have a feeling I won't stay out of it one way or the other for very long.

I hope you've prepared yourself for this mix of majesticness, because it has been prepared for you.
-KL

The Betrayer

Contemplating adding the words "hell no" to my vocabulary.

-KL

A Horse is Not a Home

A. put in her two weeks today.
To say I am bummed, is putting it lightly.
Who is A.? An awesome, awesome gal. She works hard, laughs a lot, enjoys making funny faces with me, listens to sick music, does weird dance moves with her spidery arms and legs and puts up with the stupid afternoon boys.

The Triumvirate of Cuda (Jake, Michelle and I) have three interviews tomorrow. We're looking for someone that comes endowed with experience in the coffee biz already so that we can hopefully cut down on the extensive training period by any fraction we can. There were already plans to hire someone else, but with this new development, it's even more important we find someone exceptional.

As it is, maybe half of our current staff is actually trained to make drinks/work bar which makes it rough when 4/5 of us want Sundays off to go to church.
It's just madness--sheer madness.
Ok, not really, but it would be nice to have a reprieve. And after spending hours training A. to fill position, it totally whomps that she's leaving. But again, not her fault and she will be missed more than she knows.

So back to the drawing board and back to the grindstone. Whistling all the way.

-KL

Hard To Be

We made a mistake.


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