Dreams. I Have Dreams.

Dear Hollywood,

Why do you insist on raping my favorite books?
Yes, yes, I understand that many books would take longer than a two-hour American attention-span would be able to handle. I understand that certain elements of stories may be too graphic for cinema (especially if you need a particular rating in order to get some people to come). I understand that you have a right to "creative interpretations". However, I resent the fact that you leave out huge plot elements and that you twist the characters whom I love to fit your quick and emotionally extorted script. I resent the fact that you take the simple word "based" to an extreme.

What am I to do? Should I just not read books anymore for fear of them becoming movies with enticing minute and half trailers that get me to say, "Oh, I loved that book, this teaser looks awesome, let me go pay 8 bucks to see it so I can relive the cherished pages I spent so long pouring over".

Honestly, I don't read all that much to begin with. I wish that were otherwise, but it's not. So please don't force me to stop reading by making flawed motion-pictures of them. I'll even do you one better; how about we just keep the literary world and the film industry separate? How would that suit you? Yeah, you may lose some money and some avid (and later disappointed) readers, but we both know you're bigger than that. C'mon, be a good sport about it. Let's just leave books to BBC produced mini-series. We'll all be winners! And after all, that's what 82.4% of your "lessons learned" films are about. Let's take a page from your own book and stick to that.

I'm glad we could have this experience so that we could both learn and grow. I think by following the suggestions I've made you will have a better success rate at pleasing fans. Just so we're clear, please stick to movies about blue aliens and super heroes (comics don't really count as books, so go for it!). And please get Diablo back on track. And if you must bend the rules, at least get someone who makes the movie better than the book. coughAdamShankmancough

Cordially yours,

-KL

p.s. Ms. Sarandon did earn you a few points. ;)