If I Keep Up This Way

I admit, the wedding was actually quite good. Many moments of silently chuckling to myself about the little things.

Between "Kevin's Cool Car", aching feet, death-metal-t-shirt-clad-best-men, seeing a smile on her face, being followed by a zombie, having a 12-year-old try and do my hair, and Jewish dancing; it was a good time. And I'm actually somewhat content that it has finally gotten to this point.

The most important part of it all though, was what God convicted me of and spelled out to me the next morning in such a blatant way:
"A friend loves at all times" -Proverbs 17:17
I am so sick of living by a double standard, in so many ways. He's gently nudging me to the truth and giving me the compassion and eyes I need for the road ahead.

-KL


P.S. Two bits of awesomeness, just because it's a holiday (and I need to undermine any seriousness that just went on).

Are You Ten Years Ago

This weekend is going to be a roller-coaster.

Now, under normal circumstances, I rather enjoy roller-coasters. Get your head and neck whacked around while moving at high speeds, listening to the people around you screaming. Pure joy.

Emotion roller-coasters, as one could imagine, are quite a horse of a different color.

Tomorrow, I head off to the magical land of corn fields and keggars. And no I'm not going all the way to Iowa. Strangely enough, for the first time ever I'm going up to WSU. The "official" one. But that's not the exciting part, so if you were holding your breathe with anticipation, this is the time....I'm going to retrieve the tall one known as Maribeth and kidnap her away to Canada. Except she probably won't have her passport on her, so we'll probably just come back to the TC.

I'm actually really excited. I lurve roadtrips (the few that I have taken). Halfway by myself, halfway with one of my best friends = awesome. Plus, there is a high probability that I will get to see another great friends of mine, Jaymee, whom I haven't seen since her birthday. Last May.

So that's the fun part. And let's face it, this wouldn't be KaraLynn's blog without a mellow-dramatic downside somewhere.

Pretty much directly after our return from roadtrip bliss, we will be setting up and readying for rehersal, for a wedding.

First off--not a fan.
Not that weddings aren't nice and all...
But formal is not my style. And yes, I will be standing in front of God knows how many people in a dress. Thank Jesus I won't be at the center of it, but it will still be very unnerving.
It also doesn't help that I don't really agree with the method of problem solving. But that's another blog entirely. Actually, that's too much emotion and history for any form of mass communication....I love ellipses...have you noticed?



The oldest picture I could find of all of us (minus me of course) on digital. Summer '04. My how things were different...

...and All My Forgettable False Starts

I feel like I've forgotten how to start a blog. Like I need some catchy line that instantly interests people and subconciously tricks them into reading all about my life and my issues. Was I successful?

Well, I'm just going to jump right into if it you don't mind.
I am feeling very apprehensive. About quite a few things actually, but in the forefront is the retreat this weekend. I've found whenever I'm about to begin a "new" experience or go somewhere with a group of people, I begin to get a bit scared. Mostly, I think it's because I will not necesarilly be in control of my time and I will be at the mercy of others and their actions and emotions. I'm also a bit pissed because the three people (students) I hang out with at church the most are not going which leaves me feeling even more vulnerable. Now before you say anything else, I know that as a leader I am supposed to be there for every student. I am supposed to encourage mingling and facilitate an all-encompassing and open environment. For the most part, I believe I do that. I'm pretty good at that and the West Side kids are pretty good at doing that themselves. But there are times when I need a break. Unfortunately, there is only so much I can take of some people (especially when we're all in a confined space for an extended period of time and other various factors).
I won't bore you with other details of where my character fails or my flaws may surface.

I told Ben I'm going to hang out with him and Sara all weekend and that she and I are going to be "besties" by the end of it. A somewhat terrifying yet satisfyingly amusing thought. I'm sure that won't happen, actually I pray that won't happen and I also hope they spend some time apart as well.

Ok, I think I'm done ranting about the retreat. (Don't hold me to it though just in case.)

Segue into life on a larger scale and even more ginormous: God.
So, the past few weeks or month, actually, I've had a lot of time to think (stress on lot). I can't help but think that God is calling me to certain things. That I'm discovering bits of His will in my life, but I am very unsure and even more apprehensive about them than about this four-day retreat. I know that if it is God's will that I'm dealing with here, then the overall outcome will be worth any troubles or pains endured, but the thought of taking those first steps kind of terrifies me--again going back to the idea of losing control over the situation. I don't know where I'm going with this...I just have this little voice in the back of my head prompting me that this is the way I should go. God? I don't know.
Time to go renew my mind.

That's about it.
Little update of my life.
Little peek at what exists of my sanity.
Little show of the larger flaws that exist in me.
Hurrah, everyone's a winner.

And just for kicks...
What I don't enjoy right now:
~metal chairs in 30* weather
~middle-aged women who talk about everything
~accidental breakages of my favorite coffee mug :(

What I do enjoy:
~iPods (must be sung in a "hallelujah" choral voice)
~free wi-fi
~This comic

KaraLynn + Jesus = Forever <3

I really just want to carve that into a tree right about now. Or maybe find some fresh cement.

Wow. The most spectacular and powerful force in this entire existence loves me and wants to spend eternity with me. My words just can't do justice.

I could run away
You would never leave
You will always stay
Right by my side

Merry Christmas

Hope everybody has a good one.

We're going to the G'pas for Lasagna (mmm).

Be safe, tell someone you love them, and take some time to appreciate what beauty surrounds you.

-KL



Obviously the best part of Christmas--getting Fred Meyer's Black Friday Sock Sale socks. Cottony-goodness.